Chapter 37 Not attracted
ATHENA
2
My heart pounds too fast, too loud.
The room feels smaller, the air thick. The sound of rushing fills my ears, deafening, drowning out every other noise. I squeeze my eyes shut, but the feeling doesn’t go away.
I can’t move.
I can’t think.
I can’t…. Stand.
“Breathe.”
The deep voice cuts through the panic, anchoring me for a fleeting second. Then, warm hands grip my arms, steady but firm. I flinch, my entire body trembling.
“Athena, please breathe.”
The command is laced with a plea. I shake my head, gasping, clawing at my chest like I can force air back into my lungs. Tears prick my eyes as I try to focus my vision.
“I..t….it’s hard, Alex.” I croak out.
His hands tighten around me, pulling me against him. “Look at me.”
I can’t.
The air is too thick, too heavy.
The water is still there.
Watching.
Waiting.
Wanting to swallow me whole once again.
“Damn it, Athena.” His grip shifts, his palm pressing against the side of my face, forcing me to turn toward him. “You’re safe. Breathe with me.”
Safe.
That word doesn’t make sense.
I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling something hot slide down my cheek.
A tear.
Then another.
His forehead presses against mine, his breath steady, controlled.
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Chapter 37 Not attracted
“In,” he whispers.
- ty.
“Out.”
+25 BONUS
My chest shudders as I force myself to mimic his breathing, slow and measured. His fingers trace gentle circles on my back, grounding me, pulling me away from whatever invisible force had wrapped around my lungs.
Minutes pass.
The bathroom isn’t suffocating anymore. The air isn’t thick. The water isn’t…
I swallow hard, my muscles still tense, but the worst has passed.
I don’t know how long we stay like this.
Me, pressed against him, shaking, broken, but eventually, I manage to pull away.
I don’t look at the bathtub.
His hands drop from me, but he doesn’t move. He watches, his green eyes unreadable, something flickering behind them.
I wipe my face quickly, embarrassed by my reaction.
“I’m sorry…… I don’t know what happened.”
A beat of silence.
Then, his voice is quiet.
“You don’t have to apologize.”
I force a weak nod, pushing myself up. My legs are unsteady, my body exhausted from the panic that had gripped me so violently.
“I’ll take a shower,” I mutter, unable to meet his gaze
He hesitates, then says,
“I’ll join you.”
My eyes widen, and I’m sure they’re about to jump out of their socket, “What? No.”
“Athena, I’ve seen you naked before if that’s your concern.”
I pause. That statement sounds awfully familiar.
“I’ve fucked you and I wasn’t impressed.” a voice speaks in the back of my mind.
I can’t help but wonder if Alex had said that to me.
Is our marriage that bad? If it is then why did he help me through my panic attack?
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Chapter 37 – Not attracted
+25 BONUS
“Athena?” His voice snaps me out of my gaze and I jerk my gaze away from him like a kid caught looking at the wrong thing
He’s standing in nothing.
No pants, no boxers, just nude.
My cheeks flash.
“Are you going to undress or should I help you?”
Alex doesn’t wait for my answer. He steps closer, his fingers reaching for the towel still wrapped around my trembling frame. I tense but don’t stop him as he pulls it away, his movements controlled, robort like, like this is nothing to him.
Like touching me means nothing.
No attraction.
Just a chore.
I swallow hard, my pulse racing as he guides me into the shower. Warm water falls over my shoulders, kept at a careful angle so it doesn’t touch my face.
He stands behind me and the back of my head reaches his chest, he is silent as his large hands move over my arms, washing me with a gentleness that contradicts everything I’ve come to assume about him.
This man is confusing as hell..
The scent of flowers and vanilla fills the air, I lean in into the scent as it smells familiar.
“Is this my choice or you guessed it?” I ask.
“I haven’t had time to shop yet. I got it from-” He pauses like he just caught himself from saying what shouldn’t be spoken.
“From who?” I ask.
He doesn’t respond and suddenly the scent starts choking me. A part of me wonders if this showel gel belongs to someone else.
Another woman?
Instead, he wraps around me as his fingers trail down my spine, over my shoulders, and down my ms. Every touch is delicate and careful.
But my body doesn’t get the memo.
Heat coils in my stomach, my skin hypersensitive.
I bite my lip as my nipples harden, my body reacting to him despite everything.
Does he notice?
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Chapter 37 – Not attracted
+25 BONUS
I chance a glance over my shoulder, but his expression remains unreadable, his focus on his task. He moves to my legs, kneeling as he washes them, his grip firm but never touching me harder than necessary.
He doesn’t react to me either.
He doesn’t touch me like a man who wants his wife.
The thought unsettles me.
I exhale loudly, forcing my voice to sound unaffected.
“Are you not attracted to me?”
His hands pause for a fraction of a second before he lifts his gaze, his green eyes meeting mine. Something dark flickers in them, something unreadable.
Then, his lips curve slightly, his voice calm, almost amused.
“Is that what my cock says?”
My breath catches, and instinctively, my gaze drops.
Oh.
Oh.
Heat rushes to my face as I take in the very obvious, very hard evidence of his arousal.
So, he does want me.
Then why-
“Then why haven’t you done anything?” My voice is quiet, hesitant. “I’m
A tense silence fills the space between us.
Then, without a word, Alex reaches over and turns off the shower.
your wife.”
He grabs a towel and wraps it around me, his movements as careful as before.
No urgency.
No hunger.
Just… restraint.
Then, just as silently, he lifts me effortlessly and carries me back to my room, setting me on the bed.
I open my mouth to say something, anything, but he steps back, his face unreadable.
“I’ll prepare you something to eat. What would you like?” He asks.
‘Anything.” I respond.
He nods and walks away, leaving me staring after him, confused and aching in ways I don’t understand.
