Chapter 109
Chapter 109
It’s Sunday, and I am before a mirror, regretting my new choice of nails.
I stare at my reflection and try to hold the eyeliner steady with what feels like ten tiny daggers sprouting from my fingers. Each movement is careful. One wrong turn could cause the sharp tip to skip across my lid and ruin everything. Again.
I pull back and exhale. I don’t know what possessed me to get them at the salon yesterday. Maybe I was craving change. Maybe I needed a little jolt of something new that didn’t involve crying, fighting, or orgasms that left my chest tight. It was either the nails or going full redhead. I figured the nails were safer. And now I can’t even zip my jeans without stabbing my hip.
Behind me, I hear the soft scrape of wood. I glance up at the mirror and find Knox standing at the closet door.
He’s fully dressed for night work at his club. Black on black on black. Matte shirt, tailored pants. He doesn’t say a word. Just leans one arm against the doorframe and watches me with a look I can’t quite read.
“Have you changed your mind yet?” I ask, turning.
“About what?”
“Lydia.” I reach for the folded piece of paper on the dresser. “Jade dropped a number. All you have to do is call her.”
He walks into the room and sinks down onto the edge of the bed, legs spread, arms resting loosely
on his knees.
“We’ve been over this,” he says. “I don’t want to see her.”
I cross my arms. “Why? You’ve made it perfectly clear that her death-or fake death-was the beginning of your problems. Obviously, you cared about her. You find out she’s alive, and you don’t want to talk to her?”
“Some things should just remain as they are. I’ve gone through all the pain of losing her. Hated who I was supposed to hate. Blamed myself. Spent years in therapy. It’s better off if we don’t meet.”
I study him, the way his forearm flexes, the distant look clouding his eyes.
“But she wants to see you,” I say.
“Why now? She left before and never returned. So why now?”
“Your mother sent her away. Have you forgotten?”
www
He scoffs. “That would have been an excuse back then when we were teenagers. Now, it just sounds ridiculous. She let me think she died. I took the fall for her death. My father was so pissed he sent me away to redeem myself overseas or else face jail time. You know the rest of the story from there. And in all this time, she never once thought to come back. To reach out.”
He pauses, then adds with steel:
“You can blame my mother all you want. She’s manipulative. She’s wicked. Yes, I know this because she’s very open with her wickedness. Finn is too That’s why I don’t really care what their part was in all this. Bad people do bad things. But to trust someone and then find out they hurt you? That’s a different ballgame.”
I take a
a slow breath. “There might be an explanation.”
“I don’t want to hear it.” He stands now, jaw clenched. “Because, Sloane, I am one hundred percent sure that my mother called her to come see me. And if she had to wait for her to do that, I don’t want to see her.”
I don’t know what to say to that. Not without pushing too far. Maybe I am pushing him for the wrong reasons. Maybe it’s not about closure for him- maybe it’s curiosity for me. I want to know who Lydia is. I want to understand why her name still sends aftershocks through this family like a dormant volcano just cracked open.
Knox walks toward me. His hand brushes the top of my head before he places a kiss there.
“Gotta run, love. Do you really need to go to your sister’s?”
“It’s not my sister’s house,” I say, closing the makeup case. “It’s my house. If I’m to stay here, I need the rest of my stuff. Don’t worry about me..
“Oh, I’m not worried. Those two bodyguards are well trained.”
He squeezes my arm and then nudges me toward the hallway. I tuck Lydia’s number into my shorts pocket on the way out, unsure if it’s for him or for me.
We head down the stairs and out of the house in silence. Once out the door, Knox veers off to his car, and I slide into the back of mine. My two guards- one driving, one riding shotgun-exchange a glance as we pull out of the gate.
I sit back, trying not to think about how weird it is to have constant company. They were even in the salon yesterday, flanking me like I was a visiting dignitary. One woman had the nerve to ask if we were in a poly relationship. I hadn’t even processed the question before one of the guards told her to stay back. She hadn’t meant harm, I don’t think. She was just curious. But now I can’t even joke with strangers.
By the time we pull into my building, I’m already reaching for the door handle. The guards move in sync with me.
“Seriously?” I glance back at them. “I’m going upstairs. I’m fine.”
“We know you’re fine,” the one in the passenger seat says. “We just want to make sure you remain that way. As is our job.”
Perfect.
I wave at Johnny, the building’s security guard, on my way in, and he raises both brows at the two men following me like shadows. Our feet echo as we make our way up the stairs. I swipe my card at my door and step into the apartment.
There she is. Serena. She’s curled up on the couch, holding a mixing bowl of ice cream that looks like it came straight from the freezer. She glances up.
“You’re back.”
The guards step inside behind me, closing the door. Serena freezes, spoon halfway to her mouth. She places it down slowly.
“Who are they?” she asks.
“My bodyguards,” I reply, heading toward my bedroom. “I need to pack a few things.”
“Bodyguards?” she repeats, jumping out of the couch and trailing after me. “What do you need them for?”
“My boyfriend thinks I’m in danger.”
“From whom?”
“My boss. Kind of. He owns the company. They used to be old pals.”
She frowns. “None of this is making sense. And why do you need to pack a bag?”
I drop onto the edge of my bed. “I’m moving in with Knox.”
“Seriously? You’re just going to leave me here by myself? I’m not used to being alone. I don’t think I’ve ever actually lived on my own before.”
“Now would be a great time to learn, Serena. You just broke a man’s heart and slept with your stepfather. Maybe what you need is a little solitude.
“You sound like me.”
“I don’t think so. I wasn’t mean enough.”
“Screw you.”
I laugh softly and turn away from her to head toward the dresser, needing to focus on the task at hand: packing. I pull open the top drawer and grab a few folded shirts. Next is the bottom drawer. My fingers sink into the stack of leggings shoved in the back corner. I tug at a black pair I haven’t worn in weeks, and a small box falls out with a quiet thunk.
I glance down. There, half-tucked against the dresser leg, is a small white box with rounded corners. A pregnancy test kit.
Before I can so much as blink, Serena is in motion. She lunges forward and snatches the box off the floor.
Her arm folds around her middle protectively as she turns away, hiding it behind her back like I didn’t just see what I saw.
I’m not moving. I’ve forgotten the leggings in my hand, forgotten the shirts still folded under my arm.
“Please tell me there’s another reason why you have that with
Serena’s face stiffens. “Have what?”
“Don’t play dumb.”
“I buy these things all the time, Sloane.”
“Were you and Nathan trying for a child?”
Ou.”I say.
She exhales. “No. He hates condoms. I hate hormonal pills. So we settled for withdrawal. Every now and then, my period’s late and I get scared. So I buy a kit. It’s never been positive.”
“And now?”
She turns and walks back into the living room, where the guards are standing awkwardly near the window. I follow her.
“Rena?” I call.
She doesn’t look at me. “Just do what you came for, Sloane. Don’t worry about me.”
She plops back down and resumes feasting on her ice cream. Her fingers tremble just a little.
“You bought that kit for a reason,” I say. “And you haven’t taken the test.”
“Because I don’t want to.”
“Why else did you buy it?”
“Impulse purchase.”
“And you’re seriously not going to take it?” I ask. “Why not just put yourself out of the misery?”
“Because, Sloane. If there’s even a slight chance that I’m pregnant, I don’t want to know. I’m not in the right frame of mind to deal with it.”
“Because Nathan hates you? You’re dreading telling him you’re pregnant?”
She slams the spoon into her bowl, ice cream splattering.
“Jesys. You should have been a lawyer. You just don’t let things go, do you? Fine. If two lines appear on that device when I pee on it, I wouldn’t even know who to call. It could be Nathan’s; there’s a high chance. But it could also be Jade’s. It’s that tiny possibility that is keeping me from taking the test, Sloane.”
