Chapter 139
-SLOANE
My heart is beating fast as i sit in the backseat of
He holds the thing like it’s an extension of his “ox’s car, listening to Jade explain how to use a gun.
“Safety off,” he says, flipping a tiny lever down with
The click it makes isn’t loud, but it might as well be
“Safety on,” he says and flips the lever back up.
Click.
Again, I flinch.
his fingers casual but firm around the grip.
his thumb.
a
Bunshot with the way it makes me flinch.
He glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “Wanna experiment?”
“No,” I say quickly. “I got it. Let’s just…leave the off and on for when it matters.”
His eyes narrow as he studies my face, up and down. “You afraid of the gun or something? How you gon‘ shoot someone if you’re afraid of the damn gun?”
“She’s not afraid of it,” Knox says from the front as he drives. He catches my eyes in the rearview mirror, and there’s something there. He’s not just defending me. It feels like a pep talk in disguise, like he’s willing me to believe it too. “Just continue the lessons, J.”
Jade shrugs and goes back to it. My fingers are clenched tight in my lap. I can still hear the click of the safety in my ears long after he’s flipped the lever.
There’s a man in the passenger seat. I don’t know his name. I don’t think I’ve heard it. He’s built like he was born holding weapons, his resting face sharp and suspicious. Back at the club, I saw two black Escalades filled with men like him roll out right before we left. They were all armed and ready for whatever we’d meet at that warehouse.
Knox had tried to get me to stay behind, and I almost said yes. Almost. It’s one thing to announce to the entire world that Mateo’s mine when I was angry -which I still am, by the way–and it’s another to follow through when the moment actually comes.
“So,” Jade says, flipping the gun in his hand so he’s holding it by the barrel, showing me the grip. “When you’re ready to shoot, just squeeze this trigger like this-” he curls his finger until the faintest click echoes in the car again “-and the gun goes off.”
He adjusts his hold and lifts the weapon slightly.
“But make sure you’re holding it right. Like this.” He angles it. “You don’t wanna shoot your finger off. Or your damn foot. That shit happens more than you think. So aim right.”
I nod, but my throat’s dry.
“The surest way to know the motherfucker’s going to die is by blowing his brains out. But that’s for people with good aim. The head’s not that big. Small- ass target to work with, especially from a distance.”
He points to an imaginary head in front of him.
“But say you’re standing over him, like real close. That means one hundred percent death. Point. Pull. Boom. Done.”
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Then his eyes are back to me.
“It gets messy at that range, though. Skull bursts open. Brain juice all over the floor. All over your too, if you’re not careful.”
My stomach flips.
“I think you’re trying to scare me,” I say.
“You’re not scared already? You really think you can kill someone?”
“It’s either him or someone I care about. He won’t stop.”
“Then leave it to the professionals,” Jade says. “Your boyfriend’s probably killed more people than he can count. Everyone here knows how to use a gun and use it well, without leftover trauma. You can just sit in the car while we bring you his head.”
“Ew,” I say.
“That right there is what I’m talking about,” Jade mutters, pointing at me like I proved his point. “You saying ‘ew‘ at the thought of seeing a headless body makes you unqualified for this mission.” He looks at Knox now. “Knox, man, you really gonna let her do this?”
From the look in his eyes, I can tell Knox is fully in support of what Jade’s saying. Wouldn’t even surprise me if he told him to do exactly what he’s doing now–scare me off. But no one’s stopping me from doing this. No one. Because if I don’t do it, I know Knox will kill Mateo on sight. And with all the shit he’s already got in his head, all that trauma he drags around but acts like it’s not there, the last thing I want is for him to add another one to the pile.
I won’t let that happen. He and Mateo were pals once, back in the day. I mean, the man staged a hostage situation just to get Knox to say sorry for being a shitty friend. Knox sang that stupid lullaby to me just weeks ago, which means there’s a part of him still attached to that psychopath. Killing Mateo has got to leave a mark, even if the man is practically begging to be shot.
“She’s a big girl,” Knox says, eyes still on me. “She can do whatever she likes.”
“Big mistake, man,” Jade mutters. “If she were my wife, I’d have locked her up in a bathroom until all this is over.”
“That’s why your wife left you, isn’t it?” the guy in the passenger seat says suddenly, laughing. “You told her you were a fucking artist! Hahahaha.”
Knox is trying hard not to laugh along. Jade smacks the guy across the head with the back of his hand.
I would’ve found the whole thing funny if I hadn’t just remembered what happened earlier today. I haven’t told Jade about Mom. About the babies. That
she lost them.
“Umm, Jade,” I say. “There’s something you need to know.”
At first, he just looks curious. But the longer he stares, the more that look starts to shift, getting more serious, like he’s starting to sense where this is going.
“What is it?” he says.
“My mom. She, uh. She’s not in a good state.”
His hand flies to my arm, gripping it tightly. “Is she hurt? Is she in the hospital?”
“Whoa,” I say, startled. “Your nails are sharp.”
He doesn’t let go. But his hold eases up.
“What happened, Sloane?”
“She lost the babies.”
The second the words leave my mouth, his face just drops. Jade has always come off like a guy with a permanent resting bitch face and a tone that
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Chapter 139.
makes you wonder if he’s always mad. Half the time, I couldn’t figure out what Mom ever saw in him. Worse is figuring out what Serena saw in him lọc But right now, right here in this moment, he’s someone else entirely. Every emotion he’s ever tried to keep buried is right there on his face. And its not just sadness. It’s guilt. Real, heavy, gut–punch guilt.
“I did this,” he says.
“What?”
“If I hadn’t been so stupid, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Come on. It’s not your f-“I start.
But he glares at me, and I stop. I wasn’t sure I believed the words myself anyway. My mom might be older, sure. Higher risk and all that. But still, deep down, I know the stress didn’t help. No matter how hard I try to reason it away, a part of me believes it played a role.
“Stop the car,” Jade says.
Knox glances back. “Why?”
“I’m going to my wife.”
Knox drives until he finds a spot and pulls over. Jade’s already moving. He places the gun he was using for my lessons gently beside me, then opens the
door.
He’s gone without another word. Just… running.
Knox undoes his seatbelt and starts getting out too.
“Where are you-” I start to say, but he’s already at the back door, sliding in beside me and slamming it shut.
“Drive, Mud,” he says to the guy up front.
The man–Mud, apparently–turns around, surprised. “You sure, boss?”
Knox doesn’t answer. His attention is fully on me now. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mud get out and walk around to the driver’s side. A second later, he’s in the seat, rubbing his palms together like he’s just been promoted.
Knox leans down and shoves my gun to the floor. Then he draws closer, locking eyes with me. The look in those eyes is so serious it actually makes my stomach twist. I don’t know why, but it scares me a little.
“How well do you know biology?” he asks. “Anatomy, to be specific.”
“I–uh, why?”
He slides his arm around my waist and pulls me into him, close enough that I can feel the heat off his skin. My breath stumbles.
“Where’s the heart?” he asks, mouth close to mine.
“The…heart?”
“The human heart. Show me where it is.”
“How do I do that when you’re in my space?”
He takes one of my hands and places it on the center of his chest.
“Show me,” he says again.
