CHAPTER 077: No Apology In The World
Knox is already halfway up the stairs by the time I make it inside the building. He takes the stairs two at a time. I follow fast.
At the next landing, he pulls his phone out of his pocket, scrolls quickly, then presses it to his ear.
He doesn’t say much. Just a few clipped words. Something about a tow truck. The name Aaron.
I don’t need to hear the rest to know what it’s about.
He hangs up just as I reach our floor and stands outside my door, shoulders rising and falling fast, like the adrenaline hasn’t worn off yet.
When I come up beside him, I notice his knuckles. Red and raw. Blood gathers in the creases. It makes my stomach turn.
“You got your key?” he asks.
“I left it inside.”
“You should always carry it. Or you’ll lock yourself out.”
He reaches into his back pocket, pulls out his keycard, and taps it against the lock. The door clicks open. At least now I know how he got in. He made himself a spare.
We step inside. The moment we’re in, I turn to him.
“Would you really have kept hitting him if I hadn’t stopped you?”
He drops into the nearest chair and exhales. “He had it coming.”
“You’re supposed to be the calm one. You let him bait you.”
“Maybe I just enjoy hitting him.”
“You could’ve killed him! You knocked out a tooth.”
“I was aiming for five.”
“Knox!”
He sighs and leans forward, elbows on his knees. His hands are still coated in Finn’s blood. He stares at them for a beat before standing and walking toward the bedroom, peeling off his shirt as he goes.
I follow him.
Successfully unlocked!
He kicks off his shoes and steps out of his pants, then walks over to the dresser chair, draping the pants and his bloodied chinelose the back of it. He stands there for a moment, dressed in nothing but his boxers. His tattoos seem darker in the low light, stark lines over lean muscle.
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CHAPTER 077. No Apology In The World
“What exactly happened between you two?” I ask. “Who’s Lydia?”
He climbs into bed and pulls the covers over his legs. “You don’t want to know, Sloane.”
“I do. That’s why I’m asking. I want to know why you act like a monster whenever your brother’s name comes up, which you’re not because I’ve seen how good you can be.”
“Don’t call me good just because I’m good to you,” he says. “I’m not. You don’t know half the things I’m capable of.”
“I know you care about me. And I know you married Soraya out of the goodness of your hea-”
“It was a debt. I owed her father.”
“Stop pretending to be this villain. You’re not.”
“You don’t know what I am when I’m not with you, Sloane Mercer.”
“Maybe. But I know this–when people are at their most vulnerable point, that’s when they show who they really are.”
He snorts. “What are you now? A shrink?”
“I used to live with one. She drove me nuts.”
I cross to the bed, lift the covers, and slide in beside him. The air is warm from his body heat. Our shoulders brush. He turns to face me.
“What did Finn do to you, Knox?” I ask. “Because I have a feeling it’s what turned you cold.”
He doesn’t answer at first, eyes fixed on me like maybe if he just stares hard enough, I‘ Il disappear.
Then, finally, he sighs. “Like I said before, you don’t want to know.”
I shift onto my side, propping myself up on an elbow. “For God’s sake, Knox, talk to me. I’m trying to understand you. Don’t push me away.”
His jaw flexes. A long silence stretches between us.
“You really want to know?” he says. “Fine. I hate him because he’s the reason our sister died. And there’s no apology in the world that could make me forgive him.
Because to forgive him would mean forgetting everything that happened to me from the moment she died.”
And just like that, the room goes still.
***
~~KNOX~~
***
I don’t know how she does it, but this woman, with her glasses and soft bangs, has
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CHAPTER 077 No Apology In The World
managed to extract things from me in barely two weeks that took my therapist month: to unravel.
It’s the reason she keeps seeing me as soft, because she’s cast some kind of spell, and part of me doesn’t even want to fight it.
“Your sister?” she says. “You had a sister? What happened?”
I turn to face the ceiling. The drywall above me has a faint crack, curling like a vein.” That’s information you might actually have to beat out of me, Bunny.”
I can feel her looking at me. She’s probably trying to decide if she should press for more or let it go for now. I don’t look at her. I keep my gaze on the ceiling, counting the slow turns of the ceiling fan even though there’s nothing up there worth seeing.
Her silence answers for her.
She’s letting it go. For now. But I know her well enough to know she’ll come back to it.
“I’ll get you another time,” she finally says. “One way or the other, you’re going to tell me everything about you, Knox.”
“Planning to do some voodoo?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
I turn my head back to her, close enough that I can feel her breath on my mouth. She’s watching me, waiting, like she knows what’s in my head.
I want to tell her how much I missed her. That not hearing from her for days felt like a different kind of torture I didn’t even know could be painful. But saying that would mean… admitting things. Feeling things. And feelings? They make my throat tighten.
I want to tell her she’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to do right by. That she’s the only one right now I’d actually make an effort to keep. But I don’t.
I don’t know how to say any of that without sounding like I’ve gone soft. So I don’t say anything at all.
I just stare at her, hoping she can see it. Hoping it’s in my eyes–the ache, the want. “Tell me something crazy that’s happened to you,” I say. My hand slides into her hair, caressing her scalp.
“Recently or before?”
“Just anything.”
She exhales.
“My mom’s pregnant.”
I laugh. “I didn’t say you should fabricate stories.”
“It’s true. Jade told me. Right after delivering a beautiful check from you. Thank you, by
CHAPTER 077: No Apology In The World
the way.”
“Did you get the flowers?”
“Trashed them. I was mad at you.”
“You’re always mad at me. At least you took the check.”
“I’d never say no to money.”
“My personal gold digger. What more could I ask for?”
“If I were a gold digger, I’d have asked for a Lamborghini.”
“What color?”
“Fuck off, Knox.”
She pushes the covers off and stands.
“Going somewhere?” I ask.
“I have to dispose of my unfinished dinner and remove shards of glass from my living room. I’ll be back. But don’t get any ideas. I’m only sharing this bed because there’s just one. I’m putting a pillow between us—single people on one side, married people on the other.”
I smirk. “I promise not to ravage you in your sleep.”
CHAPTER 078: Inside You