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I just didn’t understand. Why now? What did they want to gain from this?
My forgiveness?
Forgiveness. Such a simple word, yet so complex.
How could I forgive them when they hadn’t given me forgiveness? How could I forgive them when they’d hurt me? How could I let go when they hadn’t let me live in peace for what happened?
Kane was right. Sebastian and I were both drunk, but I was the only one punished. I was the only one blamed. I was the one that got called names, the one looked down upon. The only bullied one.
I was the only one that suffered emotionally and verbally. I bore it all. I bore the
responsibility even when I shouldn’t have because I loved Sebastian.
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I could feel the angry tears wanting to fall,
and this time I didn’t want to push them back.
I was tired. So fucking tired of being the forgiving one. Because of that night, I’d lost just
as much as Sebastian had.
No one wanted to see how guilt had eaten me up. No one wanted to see how I was breaking, how I was struggling. It was always about Sebastian and Aurora.
Always about him. Why did I have to break for us to work? Why did I have to break for them to feel good? They hurt me, but no one wanted to acknowledge that. No one wanted to acknowledge my pain.
I felt a dam bursting inside me. All the hurt I’d been bottling up, all the pain I’d been pushing down, I couldn’t control it anymore. It all came to the surface as my world came crashing down.
The howl that came from my mouth was something I’d never heard myself make before. It bounced off the walls, echoing my torment. I lashed out, my fists connecting with
anything fragile around me.
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The sound of breaking glass and splintering wood filled the air, mirroring the chaos inside my soul. My fragile heart shattering once again. Pain consumed me, destroying me from
the inside out.
As time passed, the deeply buried hurt continued to surge, crawling out from the depths
of my being.
I hated them. I hated Sebastian for everything he’d done to me.
“Thea.” I heard his voice and turned.
Kane stood there, shirtless. He looked at me in shock. The kitchen was destroyed,
including the barstool.
Seeing him standing there, I fell to my knees, surrendering, not caring if I cut myself on
broken glass. What was physical pain compared to emotional agony?
“I hate him. I gave him everything. He kept taking and I continued to let him. He left me
with nothing, Kane. I’m empty, so dark and cold. How am I supposed to live like this? How
do I let go? I’m so tired, all the weight I’m carrying has become too heavy.” I cried out.
Why didn’t I see that I was trying to hold on to something that wasn’t supposed to exist? Living in a wasteland where they exiled me?
felt his arms wrap around me. “Let it go, let go of the pain, Thea. It’s the only way,” he
said, and I did just that.
My nails dug into his flesh, and I cried my heart out, transferring all the pain to him. He didn’t complain, didn’t say a word, didn’t flinch.
He continued to hold me as the remnants of my past, my unhealed scars, scattered across
the floor. The emotional turmoil finally consumed my physical manifestation.
As I broke down, the demons inside tore me apart, and all the pain I’d endured finally erupted.
In the end, I leaned against him, completely exhausted. He gently picked me up, carrying me upstairs. My eyes began to close as I felt a calmness settle deep within me.
Even if the Moon Goddess thought I was guilty for my past sins, I think I’ve paid enough
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for those mistakes. It was time to leave the past where it belonged. Time to heal.
I wasn’t hiding anymore. It was time to step out of the shadows and live my life.
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