Chapter 19
-BEA-
Her hands grew numb and she fought to hold onto the spoon and plate. Shakily, she placed them on the table and then she fell to her knees by his bed.
What must he think of me? “I’m sorry Master. You’re like this because of me because I wasn’t strong enough. I’m so very sorry.”
She grabbed his hand and bowed her head as the guilt spilled out of her eyes. She hadn’t always been this much of a crier, but this was one of the only times in her life that she’d failed her Master, and it haunted her nightmares.
The feel of the flames melting her skin and the smell of burnt hair had overwhelmed her senses. The look of Dax’s motionless body covered in black smudges and singed clothes. The release of the Alpha’s command as it road her muscles.
She could almost smell it as if it was happening right now. So lost in that thought she jerked in surprise when Dax’s fingers began to twitch.
She lifted her head and stared at his creamy hand. Again, it twitched and began to curl before Dax lifted it and rested it on Bea’s head. Turning her head, she was shocked to find him looking at her with empathy and concern.
“It’s okay, Bea. I understand and I don’t blame you for my condition.”
How could he know? Her true fear, spoken out loud. She was the reason his Kingdom had lost it’s future Alpha and locked him to a bed for the rest of his life. He couldn’t possibly know that, yet here he was freely forgiving her. Who was this man? It couldn’t possibly be the playboy she’d seen before and had heard so much about.
His words brought on a flood and a quiet wail slipped out of her and her vision blurred.
He slowly brushed her tears with his finger and continued, “What happened after that?”
Grabbing a napkin from the plate, she sat back down and wiped at her face as she watched Dax move his hand back to his bed. He’s moving more and more everyday.
“I had to shove you off. I HAD to. Alpha Leo’s command pushed me and I couldn’t do anything but push you. I watched as you fell into the Gardenia hedges below. But even then, the Alpha’s command pushed me to pull you from the house and away from danger.”
She wiped her face again and blew her nose, quietly apologizing for her tears and impolite sniffles. She remembered that night almost every day. Rethinking if she had done all that she could and if “all that she could” was good enough.
“I have a terrible fear of heights.” She laughed a little, as she remembered the butterflies that filled her throat as she looked down and prepared to jump. “I grabbed the railing and hung on until I couldn’t anymore and then I fell beside you.” Her breath had burned her throat as she’d sucked in the cold night air, forcing her into a coughing fit.
“Once I was able to stand, I grabbed you and drug you away from the house, near the cobble wall. Once I hit the wall and sat down, the Alpha’s command released me and the next thing I remember was waking up in the infirmary.”
Even now, the whole side of her face was tight and still felt on fire with white hot flames. When she first woke up after the accident and told them of her pain, they gave her pain killers and were kind to her. Then she began explaining what happened and things turned bad from there.
“They brought Master Rebecca in and when I told her what I saw she… she grew very angry with me and called me a liar. She told everyone in the infirmary to leave and then demanded that I tell her how I got injured.”
Rebecca had grown furious with her. Bea remembered her fear intensifying as Rebecca grew red the more of her story she heard.
“When I told her of my actions I thought-” She paused and touched her face. She believed she would get so much praise for her heroic actions. She had briefly fantasied about how she would be rewarded as they were waiting for Rebecca to originally arrive.
“I thought she would praise me.” Her voice hitched a bit but she fought off the feeling. “So I was confused when she grew rather angry with me. She slapped me and left. No one else came by after that accept for the nurse. Once I healed, the head Chambermaid came by, the same one who served you drinks, and she told me she gifted me to Visca and I was to pass on a message.”
She felt the memory of the betrayal as it rose, once again, up her heart and into her throat. “A gift. I find the creature too Beastly to waste my eyes on. May you both find comfort in your traitorous presence.‘ And so I was given to Visca who saw me as no more than a spy for Rebecca.”
She began chewing on her bottom lip, peeling the skin away to help give her the courage to look back up at Dax. Once she did, she wished she hadn’t.
He was staring at her again with a look of pure rage and his blue–on–blue eyes were now a bright silver, the whites completely faded away and replaced with liquid silver. Dax’s wolf was attempting to break free but instead of fur breaking out across his skin, it was just his eyes. The whites, coming back briefly only to once again bleed into the moving silver.
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Chapter 19
He said nothing to her, just stared as his eyes warred with each other.
“Master Dax?” His eyes locked with hers and the silver bled away completely, and his beautiful blue eyes were boring into hers. Yet, he said nothing. Just stared.
I really AM Beastly.
“I think I understand. I’m sorry.” Standing, she grabbed the tray and left the room. She was unsure of what to do that night. Was her place still here at Dax’s side? Should she have not said anything?
No, she didn’t‘ feel like she should have stayed silent. What happened that night was something that happened TOO him. He had every right to know.
She tried sleeping but was too restless. Instead, she completed the blanket she’d been working on and eventually fell into a fitful sleep only to wake just after dawn.
Being unable to fall back asleep, she got up earlier than normal and prepared Dax’s breakfast.
Still unsure of herself, she took a moment to stand outside his doors. One breath. Two breaths. And then nodding to the doormen, she made her way into his rooms only to find David, the Steward, leaning over Dax’s body and poking him with some kind of metal tool.
